Pregnancy Blues....

One of the things my midwife talks to me about alot regarding my hyperemesis is not getting depressed. Women who have had hyperemesis tend to get depressed because you feel like all of the sudden you are a completely different person. I was thinking two months before I got pregnant I ran my first 10k and recently it feels like my body is to weak to even walk from one end of the house to the other! I have had my moments where I have cried alot, thank goodness my husband is always there to give me an extra big hug and reassure me that it will get better.

So this morning I wanted to find the blessings that are hidden within this sickness and I was surprised at what I came up with!

When I was pregnant with Riley, I had a full time job. My midwives put me on disability from 7 weeks until I delivered Riley. This time at home allowed me to really enjoy my pregnancy. DJ was at school all day so I really had a lot of soul searching time. I wrote in a journal to Riley from the day I knew I was pregnant and I still write to her. I just want her to beable to see how much I love her through my words. As I got better, I was able to go to more school functions of Dj's and even volunteer for some things he had going on.

This pregnancy since I am home so much I feel like Riley and I have really bonded these past couple of months. We spend time reading lots of books, dancing together ( when I don't feel so sick!) coloring together, I am slowly teaching her how to do things around the house. Sometimes I love to sit here and watch her play. It's the cutest thing! She has the kindest heart and I can't wait to see her grow!

Being so sick, I have had to rely on so many other people. This has caused me to work on my "control" issues. Now I am appreciative of ANYTHING my husband does, even if it's not how I wanted it.

My husband and I have gotten alot closer. I didn't think this was possible. I believe we have a pretty great relationship. I have fallen deeper in love with my husband and I just adore him. Sometimes when our spouse is continually sick we can get resentful or annoyed but my husband is willing to do whatever I need. He reminds me everyday that I am doing the most amazing thing, I am carrying our child. Sometimes I don't think I deserve such a great husband and God reminds me that I do! I cannot wait to have many more memories with him.

Lastly, I am reminded of how much God loves me. He has blessed our family so that I can stay home and not have to worry about a paycheck. I can just be home and worry about getting better. God has continiously shown us he great love for us!

To the Sweetest Little Girl I Know

From the time we knew we were pregnant with Riley we always talked about her as if she was already in our arms.

I remember the midwife telling me to reach down and pull her out. Say what, you want me to pull her out?!?! I reached down and pulled up the little girl who would change my life forever. Riley and I will always have something special between us, she made me a MOMMY. She made all my dreams come true. When I dreamt of being a mom I never thought I would have the most overwhelming sense of love for this little one. It is a feeling that I cannot describe but I feel it every time I look at her.

She is such a lover. Her new thing is to come up to Jim and I and hug and kiss us. This morning she was pulling my hair and I looked down and she was trying to reach her lips to mine so she could give me a kiss. She loves to cuddle and rub our backs. When Jim is home, she is a daddy's girl, but as soon as he walks out the door she's ALL MINE!

Riley, I cannot imagine my life without you. You have changed me forever. You brought the deepest joy to my life, you gave me meaning and hope for the future! I love you little girl.

My little Munchkin

Yesterday was such a special day for my husband and I. We finally got to have a sneek peak of what our little one looks like. He/she is about 1 1/2 inches right now and growing perfectly. I am always amazed at what you can see from an ultrasound. We could see the hands, feet and even make out that babies little toes.

This ultrasound was also to check if we had one...or two! I have to admit, I am relieved that there is just one. But twins would have been exciting too! Unless God has other plans for us, I think this will be our last pregnancy. The pregnancies are just so hard on my body that I am not sure I could do it again. But then again, we have made plans before and God has other ones for us! =)

I can't wait to meet this little one. I am beyond excited! One more week and I will be out of my first trimester and hopefully start feeling better. I just really don't want any more trips to the hospital until I am actually in LABOR!

A Great Thanksgiving!

I just realized it has been forever since I last blogged. We went down to Brea, CA for Thanksgiving because my sister in law was due that week with her first baby. To make a long story short, she was a rockstar during the labor and Grace Elizabeth was born. My sweet little niece that I can't wait to see grow up. When I found out it was a girl I had visions of Riley and her running around together with their other cousins. I am so excited for the many memories they will have together.

So I am alittle over 10 weeks preggers with baby #2 and my hyperemesis really came into full force this week. So much that yesterday I ended up in the hospital with dehydration. After a couple IV's of fluid and my liquid (gold) Zofran, I was feeling somewhat normal. But as soon as they took the fluids out I started throwing up again. I was pretty discouraged and even more discouraged when the nurse couldn't find the heart beat. But rest assured, we went to the midwife today and heart that sweet sound of our babies heart beating away. We both cried and then we cried even more when our midwife said the "T" word. She wants to check for twins! Ummm...you said what? There are a couple of reasons why she wants to check for twins, this time my nausea is more violent, I am more tired, hungry, dehydrated, etc. And also the fact that my tummy got bigger faster this time. I really think we just have one little pumpkin but it would be nice to know sooner than later! When I told my stepson DJ we MIGHT have twins he said, "What are we going to do about this?" I laughed so hard, he is such a little man.

Anyway, more news to come later. I am praying to feel better by Christmas, that's not to much to ask right?